Healthy Balance, Healthy Life

We’re All Mad Here

Posted on July 15, 2011. Filed under: Exercise, Life Lessons |

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My life has certainly felt a bit mad this past year – I’ve experienced a lot in a very short time. I moved to Vermont last summer, started my MSW program, and, eventually, became single for the first time in a while. I’ve struggled with how to approach these changes. I’ve tried both putting all of my energy into school at the expense of fun and doing the bare minimum to get by (and I’ve found a [healthy!] balance). I’ve run the gamut of approaches to my newfound single love life: I’ve dated many a boy, kept walls up to protect my heart, wore my heart on my sleeve, broken hearts, and had my heart broken. I originally approached my love life cautiously — I tried to be as rational as possible about everything and didn’t want to let myself fall too hard so that I could keep my head on straight. Long story short, I’ve finally decided “to hell with that!”. I’d prefer to let myself fall and risk getting hurt for someone I’m head over heels for than stay “safe” and live a life lacking passion.

One of my teachers made a good point last week:

“A lot of people think ‘Uh oh I’m in love! Better watch myself until I get rational again!’ What a damn good way to kill the thing! I think you should live in that irrationality, go do crazy things together and let that passion be the basis of your relationship”.

I completely agree. Since becoming single and dating, I’ve learned how much you lose when you don’t surrender to the passion, to madness, to love. If you don’t surrender, you lose it!

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more”.

From Erica Jong’s How to Save Your Own Life (1977).

Sure, you might get hurt. Sure, you might look like a fool. But isn’t the potential for the greatest joy worth the risk? A life without feeling is a life not lived. One thing we shouldn’t protect ourselves from is that feeling — Let it in and let it happen.

(Wait…isn’t this a post about running a half marathon?) I’m getting there!

I just ran my first half marathon this past Sunday, the Mad Half in Waitsfield, Vermont.

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As I ran 13.1 miles of hills in the Mad River Valley feeling “the burn”, I thought about how ABSOLUTELY CRAZY (dare I say, mad? ) it was that I was out there running 13.1 miles worth of hills, especially for my first half! I mean, you’re taking a risk doing that to your body!

My second thought was “Signing up for anything that guarantees pain seems a little irrational, doesn’t it?” (Yes, I talk to myself…and I give myself really good advice, too. You should try it!). In case you’re not following my thought process, let me break the craziness of a race down for you:

• The madness starts at the start: You train for months through varying types of weather, through discomfort and pain, through packed schedules and important deadlines. I, personally, trained three months for the Mad Half while working overtime and going to school. On paper, it seems like it’d be a bad time to train but it felt right in my heart (and also helped me cope with my crazy lifestyle). The day before the race, I visited the course for packet pickup. My friend Austin and I drove the course and realized “Oh my gosh, this thing is hilly!! What am I doing?!” Later I got a text from Carrie, who also had driven the course to check it out “The route has some insane hills and inclines!!!!!!!!!!!” (yes, that many exclamations).
• On race day: You push yourself through discomfort, pain (to an extent—take care of yourself!), and exhaustion.
• The next few days: You have trouble doing simple things like walking and bending over due to the wear and tear on your body.
• Oh, and to top it off, you also paid money for all of that.

Now, tell me that’s not mad.

It’s completely mad! And it’s worth all of it. We runners do it for the love of the run, for the experience of the strength and innate intelligence of the body, for the freedom that comes with the simplicity of an open road and the sound of your feet hitting the ground, for the feeling of pushing through a challenge and getting to the other side. We do it because we feel most alive during these moments.

So, what does all of this nonsense come down to? None of these great experiences would have been possible if we all weren’t a little crazy.

So, go tell the Queen of Hearts that being mad isn’t so bad and, then, embrace the madness yourself — in life, in love, and in running. Yes, we’re all mad here, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

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